For many people, their money stuff feels like those old monsters under the bed. Remember those?
We were just sure there was something scary under there, and way too afraid to look. Often we would ask one of our parents to check and see, and even then we still weren’t really sure that they had been banished from under the bed.
The monsters under the bed and the bogeymen in the closets of old represented the unknown. Something scary in the dark that danced around in our heads. And that’s what our money fears do, isn’t it? They dance and spin in our heads. The very last thing we want to do is to actually look at them.
And the truth is, their only power is gained by our fear of looking at them.
Once people finally look under the bed, they find only dust bunnies. Once you actually look at your money, you find history. You find choices you have made. And even more important, everyone I have ever known that has actually looked has found that it wasn’t nearly as bad as they feared it would be.
I’ve got a new client that seems to be struggling with that. He’s been dancing up to working with me for months. He made the commitment but is now dancing away. He hasn’t completed the initial homework of answering questions about money, and he keeps stalling and moving the date to start. What I make up is that he’s scared of what he’ll find. Who knows what he makes up is under the bed.
Can you see how it is likely that it’s his little kid part that is keeping him from actually looking at his money? He’s stuck spinning around in the fear.
Unfortunately, I can’t help him until he actually chooses to shine the flashlight under the bed.
I see him imagining all sorts of scary demons charging around, dancing and leaping. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of a piece of music composed and performed by a friend of mine, Arthur Breur. It’s aptly titled “The Dance of the Monsters Under the Bed”. Give it a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbeXJjIPVo See if you can envision in this piece whatever is holding you back. Is it the money gremlins? Or is it perhaps the voice that says you aren’t good enough? Maybe it’s a fear that someone will truly find out that you are not as adept as you pretend to be?
Whatever monsters are dancing under your bed, they are hoping you don’t actually shine a light down there and look. You see, once they are in the light they become small, and inconsequential.
Trust yourself to be able to look at what’s scary and make other more effective choices. Once you take that first step of looking, the other steps will fall right in line.