Category Archives: Money is Reflective

The In-crowd and Money

Remember your teenage years? It seems to me that Junior High, which is today’s Middle School, was where it really became clear. There were the cool kids, the in-crowd, and there were the rest of us. Most of us weren’t in the in-crowd. That’s part of the value of a clique: exclusivity. There were different forms of cliques. Some were for the athletic types, some for the nerds. Tough kids, surfers, hippies — all had their own groups with specific rules around dress, language, and behavior. They worked hard to stay in their group and to exclude others. Without excluding others there isn’t anything to feel special about.

Many of us didn’t meet the criteria. We weren’t good enough for whatever reason. We weren’t pretty, or thin enough. We weren’t smart enough—or were too smart. We didn’t have the right clothes. It hurt and made us feel ‘less than’.

This is not new for humans. We have been doing it forever. And the solution is in a very old fairy tale: ‘The Ugly Duckling’ written by Hans Christian Andersen in 1843. You all know the story, and the point was and remains to be — stop hanging out with ducks! Go where you are appreciated.

Now there is a particular reason I’m bringing this up. I’ve noticed over the years that many of my clients get Money tangled up in this ‘do I belong’ conundrum. It goes something like this:

If I was rich I could fit in with the ‘in-crowd’
I’m jealous and envious of those who have more than I do
It’s not fair that I don’t have more money
I messed up because I didn’t save when I was young, or get a degree, or…
I feel like I’m always being judged as ‘less than’ others

Somehow we make up that it’s all about money. Money is the problem. It caused it. I don’t have it. On and on it goes. And here’s the rub. Yes, money may be a factor in this tangle, but not in the way people think. You may be tired of hearing it, and here it is again: “Money is reflective, not causative!” You made choices, some good, some not so good. And sad to say, you may still be stuck in those choices. Going over them and over them. Letting them consume you.

This idea of making it all about money is a giant distraction! It keeps you from living your life now. It has you trying to fit into places you likely won’t like when you get there. It’s the Duck/Swan thing again. I remember once putting an offer down on a house in a particular neighborhood. I had this weird thought in my head. It went like this: “If I lived in this neighborhood I’d have to put on make-up to get the mail!” I liked the house, the price was fine, yet it didn’t feel right. I was not going to be with my peeps if I lived there. Luckily there turned out to be a siding issue that had us not buy the house.

The thing that has you not be in with the ‘cool kids’ is not money—really! And if you keep thinking it is, and fussing with it around money, you will just keep spinning in circles.

The problem is that the real issue is harder to deal with. It’s what’s under the money stuff, and it’s likely about your own feelings of ‘worth’. It takes courage and fortitude to dig in there, but it’s well worth it.

I’ve recently been on my own journey around this tangle about ‘where do I fit’ and realized that I was hanging around with people who were not nice to me, and I was trying hard to get them to like me. Finally, I figured out that they just weren’t my peeps! I set some new boundaries and am hanging with swans instead! And there is a huge weight off my heart and soul. See, hanging around with other swans is easy. They laugh at your jokes, they like you, they respect you… you can be yourself.

Please give yourself the gift of hanging with your own particular in-crowd!

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, the Untangler

Want some help getting out of this tangle? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or leave a comment.

Kid or Grownup?

What part of you manages your money? The kid or the grownup? Let’s take a look at that.

What do most people do when they get stuck, don’t understand, are baffled, or overwhelmed, about money? Often they:

Avoid or ignore money, hoping it will solve itself
Get angry
Makeup excuses
Spend more to “feel” better
Hoard
Worry and obsess about it
Try to act like they know what they are doing with it

There is something all those choices have in common: They are the actions of children, not grownups. That’s right! We all have little kids managing our money!

We were little kids when we learned what little we know about money. The first thing we learned was that we ‘don’t talk about it, ever!’ How do you learn about something you can’t talk about? By observation. And the thing that most kids learn by observing their parents around money, is that it’s a very ‘hinky’ thing! There often are more conversations about what not to do with it than how to actually manage it. If you got any training about it in school it was likely from a teacher who didn’t like dealing with it. We fumble around thinking everyone else looks like they are doing well with this, and we are the only ones who are clueless.

Thus our thinking and skillsets around money never got revised, improved, or shifted.

Frankly, if any of us were to pick a part of us to run our money, I don’t think we’d pick our little kid part. Personally, I want my money run by the part of me that is thoughtful, adept, balanced, calm, and curious. What part of you do you want to run your money? What part do you think is running it now?

What is money’s role in this? Was any of this money’s fault? Maybe we should have scolded money, given it a good talking to, frightened it? It all sounds pretty funny, doesn’t it? We often treat money as if it was a person. And act as if it’s money’s job, to protect us and possibly even parent us. More of that little kid stuff, huh?

Money’s actual job, as I see it, is to tell us what is going on WITHOUT the emotion, criticism or judgment. Money has been doing that all along. It’s been saying “there are no savings”, “you don’t have insurance”, “you are spending a lot on bright shiny things”, etc. Money tells us all that and more. It does it quietly. We have to actually look and listen if we are going to know what money is telling us. The evidence of what is going on will pile up. It’s all there. We can all be forensic accountants of our own spending habits. And money will never have an opinion.

Money is reflective, not causative. It shows you what you are up to—in how you make it and how you spend it. Money won’t fix your life or solve your problems just by having it. It will tell you what you are up to around your problems and life if you look. You’ll find that looking at what money is reflecting will be an effective way of solving the mystery of where you are. Give it a try with that grownup part of you, and see what you find.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, the Untangler

If you need support in figuring out what money is telling you, give me a call at 503-258-1630 or leave a comment.

Follow the Money

We’ve all watched and enjoyed mysteries, and one of the tried-and-true adages of a mystery is: Follow the Money. In the case of a mystery it has to do with motive. But where else does Follow the Money ring true?

Actually, Follow The Money applies almost anywhere. In most instances, money is reflective, not causative. It points to the issues and problems. It marks and reports them. It doesn’t create them.

Wait, what?! Money doesn’t create problems? No, it doesn’t. What we choose to do or not do with money creates the problems, not the actual money itself. Money doesn’t have free will or volition. It goes where you tell it to. It gets used and spent and earned and saved strictly by the actions of people.

All money can really do is tell you what happened.

And it does a really good job of that. And it certainly does it in more circumstances than we tend to initially realize. Let’s look at where money talks and tells.

Business: This one is pretty obvious. Looking at a company’s financial statements tells you what’s going on in the company. The way I look at those statements goes deeper than just the sales and expenses though.

For me, the money in a company tells me where the people issues are. If all the employees in one department are complaining about not being paid enough, that tells me something. It tells me something is going on in that department that needs to be addressed. The money is reflective. If people aren’t paying the company on time, that says something too; it may be about the invoices going out too late, about the product not being right, or about a lax follow-up procedure.

The money can be talking about a lot of different things, but it is certainly reflecting information.

Personal: I also think money is reflective in our personal lives. What does your money say about you? Where do you spend it? What kind of attention do you pay to it? What is it reflecting? If you really look at your money, you can learn a lot.

I once worked with someone who said they had money all over the house, tucked here and there. They didn’t really know where it was. They didn’t know how much they had. That’s a reflection of this person’s money perspective. The fact that the money is all over, and not “organized” is reflective of something. Follow that money mystery and you’ll get somewhere interesting, somewhere important.

Sometimes following the personal money leads to some pretty predictable places. The money might go toward a collection, it might go for a child’s education, it might go for a car. It is most likely to reflect the person’s interests and passions. It also will reflect the person’s money prejudices—those beliefs they fund without even knowing it. It might go to buy everything “on sale” because that’s just what you are supposed to do. Or it might buy jewelry because it makes you feel good. Where ever it goes, there’s some meaning or symbolism behind it.

Remember, money isn’t about money—it’s about our sense of worth. What we spend it on is reflective of how we see ourselves and our world. It reflects our values, passions and dreams.

I think we can learn a lot about people by looking at different aspects of their lives. Think about it: Look in someone’s refrigerator, what does it tell you? Lots of weird sauces, or is there just a six pack and a cold pizza? Reflective, right? Money is the same way. So, spend some time noticing what your money is telling you. Where do you spend it? What do you do with it? Where do you keep it? How do those actions sometimes reflect things you hadn’t realized before? You can learn a lot. Just follow the money.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, the Untangler

Want to chat about what your money might be trying to tell you? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or leave a comment.

The Mystery Bet

In September of 1943, at the tender age of 18, my dad was drafted. At that point, my Grandmother, Dossie, started a ‘Scrap Book‘. She wrote about what was happening and gathered telegrams, letters, newspaper clippings—all sorts of information. Dossie was not exactly ‘organized’. She was a dynamic, wonderful whirlwind of a woman, who had a quirky nature. Often the description on the back of a family photo read something like “all of us“—which was true, but not necessarily helpful.

Even the book’s history is intriguing. Apparently the book and all the accompanying bits of paper, photos, and such were in a cardboard box. Early in my parents marriage, my mother started to throw out the box. To ‘make up’ for this egregious error, she took the whole mess to be ‘laminated’. That’s good news and bad news. The laminator paid little attention to chronology and backs of pages. I’ve tried several times to ‘fix’ it, and it’s determined to stay a bit chaotic… but then it is about the most chaotic thing to ever happen to my dad and his family.

He ended up in the Army Air Corps, serving as a tail gunner on a B17. On December 7, 1944 his plane was shot down after a bombing run over Germany. Parachuting out, he was eventually turned over by Hitler Youth who found him hiding in an elderly woman’s basement. He ended up in the Stalag Luft 1 POW camp in Northern Germany. The camp was liberated on May 1, 1945. My dad weighed 110 lbs.

I’m just giving you the basics. There are many stories to tell about his time in the war, and also about how it was for my family back home. What I really wanted to write about today is this fascinating tidbit I recently found in the book. And guess what? It’s about money!

On May 20, 1945 my dad wrote a letter home. It was his first letter since being liberated, and most of it was a recap starting with his being shot down. I think the reason for the rehash is that this was the first letter that he was able to write that was only censored by Americans, and not his captors.

At the end of the letter he wrote: “Deposit $100.00 in the Wyoming Loan and Trust for I lost a bet and wrote a check on that bank. All My Love, AC ‘Slug’ Stone” My first response to this was to laugh out loud! It’s so my dad.

Here he is, a young man of 20, who has only been ‘free’ nine days, and he wants to make sure he honors a debt! Amazing, and yet perfect.

So back in those days you could literally write a check on a cocktail napkin. Who knows, the one he wrote may have been on one! He wanted to make sure that his check didn’t bounce. It’s impressive.

And here’s the check. It was actually cashed at the bank on July 12, 1945 so it took some time. It’s a counter check. Just a blank typed form with the information hand written in. This is not the original check, it’s the bank making up a check for their records. The signatures are also not original.

There is also an intriguing piece in the way he made the request. It was a simple request, with little explanation. Which tells me (of course I kinda know this about my dad) that him making a bet was not a remarkable thing. Yet this was a large bet. $100 in 1945 was a major chunk of change. I did a bit of exploring and discovered that it would be about a $1,395 bet today. Yipes!

So here’s this 20-year-old kid, who has just been freed from a terrifying experience. I’m sure there were times he thought he’d never make it out of the camp. With all that, top of his list is honoring his bet? I can’t think of a clearer representation of what I mean when I say that Money is Reflective.

And here’s the kicker. There is no record as to what he bet on. It will forever remain a mystery. Trust me, if I do end up in some future existence where I get to see him again, one of my first questions will now be: “What DID you bet on, Dad?”

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, the Untangler

How is your money reflective? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or leave a comment.

Is It Money’s Fault?

We sure act like it is. And we’ve been of that opinion for centuries. Money, in and of itself, is somehow bad and evil. And yet, is it really?

I did a bit of digging for biblical verses about money. There are quite a few. Timothy, who got tagged with the ‘Money is the root of all evil’ thing actually said: ‘For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.’ That’s a bit different, isn’t it? Mostly the biblical references about money are really about what people do—or don’t do—with it.

Money, being that it’s actually just a ‘place holder’ of value, has gone through all sorts of changes throughout the ages. It’s been made of gold, paper, and now just numbers in the air. It has had kings and presidents on it, slogans about trusting in God, and pictures of monuments. It has been a symbol of all sorts of things—worthiness, power, ego, generosity, security, endurance—actually a never-ending list. It’s never-ending because all of it is made up.

Money has the value we give it. Whether it be the bigger bit of the ‘Economy’ or your own personal money, it’s all stuff we make up. It was initially a good idea: Rather than trading hay for a goat, and then the goat for cloth, and then the cloth for wheat, it was much easier to use a token with a value assigned to it. It started as a stand in for value. We now have attached a ton of meaning to the symbol of money that is just what we, and our culture has laid on it—not the actual Truth.

Money inherently has no value, or opinion, or goal. It only has the value we assign it. Notice that the value of the dollar moves and shifts? Money reflects the shift. Money doesn’t actually cause the shift. People set a value.

We say we want a house in this neighborhood, or a job that pays that, or a car that has this. Money reflects what we care about, what we want, what’s important to us.

Okay, by now you may be thinking: “Why does all this stuff Shell’s often saying—about money being what she call ‘reflective’ not ‘causative’—matter?” It matters because the way you think and feel about money has a direct effect on you! If you believe that rich people are bad, you will make sure not to become one. You are constantly telling and training your brain what to believe, all the time, every time you think or speak.

I have seen this over and over again. I’ve experienced it myself. Those words you use with yourself have power, and your brain will take them as Truth, and protect you from letting them ‘hurt’ you. The ONLY thing that is true about money is that it reflects what you choose to think about it and do with it.

What do you think and feel about money? Really, answer that question. It’s important, because money will reflect those thoughts back to you. If down deep you think it’s a big struggle and you can never win at it, you will be right!

Changing that thinking isn’t easy. You and the entire planet have been making up things about money forever. However there is an easy way to start the process. Get clear on what you actually, deep down, believe about money. What are those statements that just pop into your head about it? Like ‘it doesn’t grow on trees!’ What does that even mean to you? The first step is always to acknowledge the problem.

Once you get clear on those deep-seated beliefs, the next questions to ponder are: “What is the cost of that belief? What am I missing by thinking that way? How could this be different?”

Changing the way you think about money may be the best gift you ever give yourself. Give it a try! Maybe you’ll find out that it’s not really money’s fault afterall.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, the Untangler

Want to chat about changing your money thinking? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or leave a comment.

Power Struggle

It may very well seem like all the struggle going on in our politics and our lives right now is about money. Certainly money is front and center as a topic—but I want you to remember: Money doesn’t actually create the situation, it reflects it! We need to be very careful as we come to conclusions about what it going on. If we decide that money itself is a fault then we fall into the mess of blaming money for something it isn’t responsible for. People make choices, money just goes where they put it.

When we make money responsible for people’s choices we tend to “throw the baby out with the bath water”. We decide that money is bad, evil, dirty. We decide things would be better if we have as little to do with money as possible. As Spock would say that is a “most illogical reaction.” And it’s a trap that will derail you.

We humans are pattern makers. We lump things together to make them easier to deal with. It works really well in lots of places. Deciding that money is the cause of something that someone used money to do isn’t one of those places. Greed isn’t about money—it’s about power. (And just so you know rape isn’t about sex—it too is about power.)

Here’s how I know greed isn’t really about money. If you magically had a room filled with money, but weren’t allowed to spend it or use it in any way, you wouldn’t want it. What we want from money is what we can do with it, and that has nothing to do with money being good or bad—that’s up to us.

Money is just doing its job. It’s telling us—without any judgement at all—what is happening. Money is great that way. It shows what Bill and Melinda Gates choose to do with their money. It shows Warren Buffet giving billions to charities, including the Gates ones. As you notice those who are greedy and self-serving with money, please balance that perspective with those who are generous. It’s not money doing the choosing, it’s people.

Another way to think of it is that money is a mirror. Let it show that how you make and spend your money is in alignment with your dreams and values. Let’s allow money to do its job of supporting us by simply telling us what we are up to.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

If you find yourself thinking that money itself is bad, get in touch and let’s see if we can untangle that in a way that works for you. Call me at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

The Values Behind the Actions

Frankly, whatever we do, it reflects who we are. Money is a place where that reflection of values is very clear. As you’ve heard me say before it’s a great place to look at to see just what we are up to. Recently I had a really positive experience of that at—of all places—a Hyundai car dealership.

I have a 2001 Hyundai Santa Fe (you may have seen the post “Perfect Bandage Fix” about it earlier this year). Anyway the little do-hickey that squirts the cleaning fluid on the windshield was clogged on the drivers side. And as people are want to say in these here parts, “It rains in Oregon.” After trying the “pin poke” method, I made an appointment with the dealership to take it in to have the offending do-hickey fixed—and yes, it was raining that day.

When I got there they discovered that I wasn’t in their database. I had never been there before. As I went into the waiting area to do the magazine hunt while they fixed the car, I noticed one of the mechanics and a female customer over to the side talking. It appeared that there were a bunch of things wrong with her car, and he was going over a game plan with her on how to get it back in shape. I was frankly impressed with how the mechanic was handling the situation. The woman appeared to be a bit flustered and worried. He was empathetic, clear, patient, and relaxed, without a hint of being patronizing.

Frankly in my experience that’s hard to find in a mechanic. I remember once long ago when a mechanic at a gas station asked me if I wanted to have him fill the radiator on my VW bug. My response was “No thanks, I had my boyfriend do that this morning!” (For those who don’t know, the classic VW Bugs are air cooled—no radiator. But I digress.)

Back to the waiting room. At this point I’m impressed with the dealership based on the conversation I’m listening to. Now a guy with a clip board comes in and calls my name. He tells me that the little hose that takes the soapy water to the actual squirter do-hickey was clogged and he’s cleared it. I say “Wonderful, how much do I owe you?” and he says: “It’s no charge, it’s just a little thing.”

As I got into my car, I was smiling. In general I have always had that, “Don’t go to the dealership! They charge way more!” thing in my head. I based it on previous experience, and it was firmly there. It’s now changed.

Although this may sound like a plug for Beaverton Hyundai, which it certainly is, it is also very much about Customer Service. And Customer Service is about building trust and aligning with your values, yes?

Sure they could have charged me to clear the clog. I would have happily paid it. It would have been fine. What they did instead was create a relationship with me by being generous in a small way. The value of caring and consideration reflected in their actions.

Guess where I’ll go when the car needs fixing?

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want to explore how you might build more trust in little ways with your clients? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website: www.sensiblecoaching.com

Truth, Love and Money

My friend, Chris Venn (http://www.chrisvenn.com) and I were talking awhile back about his idea that what we really need in life is Truth and Love. I’m sure he’s been having this conversation with others, and it’s one that is well worth exploring. The idea rang true to me. When either or both Truth and Love are missing we are in trouble. Like a lot of things that I really get engaged in, this is an idea this is simple and elegant at first glance that cascades into a deeper concept. Allow me to delve into it a bit more before I add money to the mix:

Truth: for me truth usually means something that is always the same, as opposed to belief which can be mostly the same. In what Chris and I were discussing, I think truth is more about the absence of fantasy or illusion. I’d hate to have to admit how many time in life I held out hoping something would be different than it was—I chose to believe my dreams instead of the reality in front of me (and yes, that does have to do with relationships with others). So truth is what we really know for sure, right?

Love: My interpretation here is that Chris and I were talking about compassion, caring, thoughtfulness, generosity, etc. Loving as a way of being with oneself and with others, not so much the romantic thang! And for me, love and being loving have something to do with living in my values. Treating others and myself with respect, compassion, and caring.

Okay, now with definitions in place, what’s this got to do with money? Everything!

Money just tells the truth. It can’t help it. If it was an actual person, that person would be incapable of lying. Now, I don’t mean that we can’t use or spend money chasing illusions, we do that all the time! But Money itself doesn’t lie. It tells us we are chasing an illusion. Well, actually it doesn’t come out and say, “Hey there you! You are chasing an illusion!” Instead it says, “You just spent this much money on that item.”

For those of you who are as old as I am, Money is like Sgt. Friday in Dragnet: “Just the facts, ma’am.” Now I’ll admit he was grumpy, and terse—check this out (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMIZGrgWOO4) —but, he’s also all business (and pretty funny to me).

So that brings us to the emotional part, doesn’t it? Love is certainly an emotion, and Money doesn’t actually have emotion, in and of itself. So how does Money help with that? It will reflect your emotion, by showing you how you choose to use it.

It’s actually one of the gifts of Money. There is no ‘spin’ on Money, except what we put on it. It’s the most neutral source for us to see what we are up to. That parental voice in your head that says you shouldn’t spend money on THAT, whatever ‘that’ is, isn’t your Money, it’s your inner critic! Money, unlike your mother, or your spouse, or your friends, doesn’t actually have an opinion about what you are up to. All it does it tell you what you are doing—without judgement.

That’s a really good thing to know, and use. It’s a source of information, right there, under your nose. If life is not rolling along well for you, Money can will tell you where things are wonky. You have to do the interpreting. Money says you bought yourself a new car. You need to notice what the car means to you, what it is reflecting. Do you love it? Is it about status? Did you somehow settle for a car you don’t like? What’s going on? All that is your part, the application of Love and Truth—Money’s job is that Joe Friday gig of “Just the facts, ma’am.”

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want to explore what Money is telling you about Truth and Love in your life? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website: www.sensiblecoaching.com

Who’s In the Director’s Chair?

Recently I was watching an interview with my friend and colleague, David Darst and he brought up the classic Hollywood actor’s desire: “What I really want to do is direct!” Directing is what we all want to do on some level. Even Barbie wants to direct as exemplified by the “Film Director Barbie”—I know, I was astounded too!

David was talking about how we want to be in the Director’s Chair in our relationships. You know how that works—we want to have everyone do things the way we want them. Of course since our partners want to also direct, such a desire gets pretty messy.

I loved the analogy and started thinking about it on a personal level. For many years my title was Controller, which seems to me to be a money version of Director, so I too like to be ‘in-charge’. I truly think we all do.

And yet, what I notice is that many people think that when it comes to money, they aren’t the Director, Money is. For that to be true Money would have to dictate and direct what is happening, and it doesn’t do that. What it does, as you’ve no doubt heard me say before, is reflect your choices. Using our film analogy, Money is more like the “Director’s Cut” of the film—a reflection of what you the Director created.

So the problem really is, when you think Money is the Director you stop taking charge yourself. You “let” things just happen. You fall into what I call Money Traps, which are basically unconscious spending habits that don’t align with your values and goals.

Remember all those great Mickey Rooney, Judy Garland movies where the ‘kids’ put on a spontaneous musical in the barn? They all had a Director. It was Mickey. He took the role, and coordinated the show.

Without someone directing we end up with chaos, yes? Or at least something unorganized and random!

Managing your money, taking the role of director regarding how you make it, spend it, save it actually isn’t as complicated as Directing all the aspects of an MGM 30’s musical. It has to do with you being clear and purposeful with your money decisions.

If Mickey and Barbie can do it, so can you! How about a major rewrite of the script you are following when it comes to your money? How about making yourself not only the Director but the lead actor? The one who moves the story and action along, instead of the person who is pulled through the plot by circumstances with no control?

This whole thing leads me to a great idea! Why not write up the storyline of you and Money as it has unfolded in your life, and then, just for the fun of it do a re-write of how you’d like it to be?

You really are the Director of your money, so why not own and enjoy that? After all, most of us do really want to direct!

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

How about a little help changing your storyline when it comes to money? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.sensiblecoaching.com

The Money Will Follow?

We’ve all heard that adage about “Do what you love, the money will follow”, haven’t we? For years my response to that was “Yes, it follows, but it’s way the hell back there!” The idea behind the initial quote has merit, and I think it needs some further exploration.

No doubt the initial idea was to counter balance the masses of people who strive to get the money first, and expect to then have the money give them the ‘love’ later. In this instance the money is leading, not following.

The fundamental flaw in the idea of leading with getting the money first is that it’s contrary to what money’s job really is. Money doesn’t ever ‘lead’, it follows. Or more specifically it reflects. It mirrors your choices. So to play with the adage: “Do what you love and the money will reflect that.”

Of course, we all know it’s not quite the easy. Well, it can be easy, but in order to be easy we have to have a clear, unclouded intention around our money – and that ain’t easy for most of us given all the emotion and expectations we have attached to money.

Whatever you do, money will reflect it. It will reflect your actions and the emotions behind them. That’s its job. So “Do what has you be your unique self, and then your life—and thus your money—will reflect it.” Gee that sounds fun, doesn’t it?

One of the things that I think is a fundamental hiccup in the adage is around the “Do what you love” part. How do you approach doing what you love? What judgments do you bring to the table? I remember years ago having a discussion with my then partner on an airplane. We were talking about me and art. Doing art. Out of my mouth came: “I can’t do art, you can’t make money doing art!” Yep, there is was. Carved in stone in my brain. I love art, I love doing art. I do many things artfully. I don’t do fine art as a living because I frankly wasn’t ever really able to bust that belief. See, with that belief I would have created “Do what I love and the money will limp along behind me” because money would have had no choice but to reflect my belief.

It’s a hard one to shift, for sure. Here’s an easier shift (not necessarily simple, but easier): “Do what has you be your unique self and your life and thus the money will reflect it.” Not nearly as catchy or smooth off the tongue, but more effective.

We all have strengths and talents, yet we somehow think we aren’t supposed to use them. We believe we have to do things the hard way for them to be worthwhile. When we do that the money will reflect that choice. It will show us the stress we put ourselves under. It will mirror the frustration of pushing the big rock up the hill over and over.

What I finally learned was that my talents and strengths were actually valuable in themselves. That by doing what was natural for me, I was able to actually come to doing what I loved and having the money follow. I use my “artistic”, creative side all the time. Sometimes it’s something tangible like knitting, painting, decorating, which is great.

However my use of my natural gifts and talents in my coaching, in helping others “create” new possibilities has me being in a beloved “artistic” place all the time. It’s not something separate, it’s always there.

These days it really is “Lovingly be who I really am, and watch the money reflect it.” Try really honoring your natural talents, the money won’t just follow, it will join you.

Ka-ching

Shell Tain, The Untangler

Want more untangling? Give me a call at 503-258-1630 or check out my website at www.shelltain.com