Remember when this is what we looked like at work? Pearls, bracelets, skirts, pumps, even suits. Times have changed, thank goodness. Yet I wonder….
I notice that there are some throw backs to those days. Some behaviors that linger long past when the skirts were replaced by slacks. In those days we had to be careful in our language and how direct we were. Many of us learned to make the boss think something was his idea, instead of ours. We assuaged and cajoled. Some of that still lingers.
And here’s the deal. If we, as women, don’t notice and change this perspective no one else will. I’ve caught myself many times ‘suggesting’ instead of ‘requesting’. Hinting instead of asking.
“Gee, the trash looks really full, maybe it should go out?”
“Would you please take the trash out?”
Hmmm. We know there is a stigma of women who are direct or assertive being ‘bitchy’. My point is, if we ask for what we want is that ‘bitchy’? I don’t think so, I think it’s clearer. Maybe the other person doesn’t get our suggestion or hint. Maybe they just think it’s information. It certainly sounds more like information than a request.
And here’s the deal. If we, as women, don’t notice and change this perspective no one else will. It’s all about continuums. One end of the spectrum is so effusive no one knows what is going on; the opposite end is a staccato demand.
Let’s find a middle. Let’s make requests, let’s ask. Let’s give the other person a better chance of meeting our needs, and most of all, let’s equalize the playing field in more ways than our attire.